The Ultimate Guide to Being a Marauder
by lalaxfresh
Summary: Its seventh year and the gang is moving on. That doesn't mean Hogwarts is safe. The Marauders themselves are writing a guide to direct the next set of mischief makers. Rated T for language and to be safe. R


The Ultimate, Yet Conveniently Short Guide to Being a Marauder

A/N: I like A, B, C fics. I thought I should make one myself. Review please. It keeps me motivated.

Disclaimer: The only thing I don't own are the names and the stuff you recognized. The funny and sarcastic remarks, are all mine :)

A: Adventurous

Always wiling to explore new areas and face danger. Always counted upon to do what no other will do. Maybe considered thoughtless or impulsive, but I consider it brave and ambitious. - Padfoot

Ofcourse you do. - Moony

B: Bold

A real marauder never takes crap from anybody, even teachers. That's why when Professor Slughorn gave me detention for talking, I gave him a real reason to. By hexing all his potions to explode when liquid is added. Luckily for me, he wasn't very good at tracking charms or very well at identifying foul play. - Prongs

C: Cunning

The ability to mishap without getting caught. May refer to as being sneaky. Everyone says 'it's always the quiet ones.' The professors never believe them. Lucky me. - Moony

D: Dashing

Want a great alibi? Sweep a girl off their feet and they'll lie for you. No one can resist a grey-eyed, polite young man. Right Prongs? - Padfoot

What you trying to say? I'm not gay. - Prongs

I don't think he meant it like that mate. - Moony

Oh, right. - Prongs

E: Exclusive

What's an easier way to get caught than having people talk in excitement? Make sure that if your going to perform high consequence pranks, only choose people you trust. - Wormtail

F: Friendship

Without your best mates, you can't get half a decent prank accomplished. Trust me. - Prongs

G: Grades

What is more important than grades? Keeps teachers off your back and never arises suspicion. Right Padfoot, Prongs, Wormtail? - Moony

Whatever Moony, your a dork. - Padfoot

Thanks Pads. - Moony

H: Harm

A real marauder never strays from danger. Don't be scared of a little squid in the lake or a giant spider in the Forbidden Forest. Or a certain warewolf. Cause if you are, then your just lame. - Prongs

I: Interesting

Don't be dull. That's not cool. The End. - Marauders

J: Justice

A marauder always has a nemesis. Ours is a certain greasy- haired git. Whenever they feel like they can stand up to you, humiliate them in public. Justice Served. - Padfoot (again)

Okay I'll stop hogging up the quill. - Padfoot

K: Kill haha jk, Kings

As a marauder you are seriously the "ruler" of the school. Because everyone, even teachers, know who's behind all the nasty pranks (though they can't prove it). No one wants to be in the receiving end. Remember that - Prongs

L: Lie

Learn how to lie. That way, you wont have to go to detention. - Wormtail

M: Marauder

Someone who's always looking for a plunder in life. Wether it be gold or adventure. Find something exciting worth doing. That is how you find fulfillment. - Moony

N: Nuisance

Cause a commotion 'til they can't stand it anymore. Then do it all over again. Because real pranksters find happiness in causing others distress. It's hilarious watching teachers yell 'til they turn red. - Prongs

O: Out spoken

Can I have a turn now? Good. Never be afraid to bite that tongue. Honesty is a virtue. So if a certain foul-smelling, greasy- haired emo punk rolls around the corner; in the top of your lungs with a sonurus, call him out on it. In front of everyone. He'll get the message, and maybe learn how to use a shower (or atleast a cleaning spell). - Padfoot

P: Prefect

The perfect way to prank without getting detention. Who's better at an alibi or canceling a prefect inflicted detention than another prefect? Case closed. Befriend a prefect. No Moony, were not using you. You just happen to be a bonus. - Padfoot

Q: Quests

We found out all our passageways during late night escapades. It's a great way to learn your surroundings and find ways to escape tight situations. Like McGonagall coming around the corner while sparking off bombs with a certain Poltergeist. Good thing that statue was there. - Moony

R: Recycle

One prank can be used more than one time. You know how many times we've used explosives? It has the same reaction every time. Awe. - Prongs

S: Spells

Know your spells. They're all you pretty much have to work with. That's how we became animagi. - Wormtail

T: Trust worthy

Yeah, I know, how ironic. But seriously, you need to be able to trust your partners that they're not going to rat you out or definger you. - Padfoot

U: Unfaltering

The best marauders are the ones who never give up. We didn't become the best over night. So many dead ends and so many let downs. But look where we are now? Helping you guys out. - Padfoot

V: Victory

Always pick battles you can win. Because being a marauder means you have to have a good reputation. Getting your arse kicked is the best way to get laughed at. Ask Snivellus. - Prongs

Can I write again? - Padfoot

No Padfoot, you hog the quill too much. - Wormtail

Fine. - Padfoot

Ladies and for those who think they're gentlemen, Padfoot is officially suspended from making any more suggestions. - Moony

W: Wisdom

Just because you got guts, doesn't mean you can keep up with the big boys. Gotta know what your doing in order to make success. Yes I know shocker, someone besides Moony encourages studying…(spells that causes explosions.) - Wormtail

Wow, that was deep worms. - Prongs

Thanks Prongs. - Wormtail

Never knew you had it in you. - Prongs

X: There is no X

Why?

Cause we can, its our guide.

So instead of X lets give you something else.

Lily

No James, Lily has nothing to do with anything. - Wormtail

She has everything to do with me. - Prongss

Good, keep her there. - Padfoot

Shut the bloody hell up Padfoot. - Prongs

I'm just saying mate, no one cares about Head Nazi. - Padfoot

Okay, that's enough boys. - Moony

Nevermind "X." Let's just keep that blank. - Moony

Y: Yearning

The motivation to always seek information. Don't call me a nerd. That map we made were all places discovered by Prongs and Sirius. They'll be damned if anyone found out two of Hogwarts most detesting students know more than Hogwarts: A History. - Moony

Z: Zoom

Because when you're trying to avoid a certain long-bearded, white-haired headmaster, you got to be fast. Trust us. Not that is hasn't happened a few dozen times. - Marauders

There you have it, the ultimate guide to pranking without worrying.

Now go away.

A/N: Review please. Tell me if I should make anymore of these. I've got plenty of ideas. I re-did the fic again! lol because I found a lot of mechanical mistakes again! Please review and tell me if I missed anymore mistakes. Thanks to Briar Elwood for pointing them out to me. I also want to thank Mystic Dragon, fanfictionlover101, and sevenses


End file.
